It is my duty as a gentleman, to inform my immediate family that I am currently growing a mustache of Biblical bushiness (as time allows) that may leave blisters if brushed by the bare hand, snag lady's undergarments if brought too close, ensnare small feral animals during feasting, absorb entire kegs of beer and destroy all interlopers and "poseurs" in its wake. You have been warned.

Peter Rogers,
Secretary General and former champion, Royal Inter-Empire Boules League, Lancashire Office, Bolton, England